Everyday we run into people who do not practice social graces. The people who don’t hold the door, forget to say “excuse me” and basically make you feel invisible. Perhaps they don’t realize it but, the power and effect they inflict are enough to ruin your day.
Implementing social graces into daily life is not an arduous task. Social graces are powerful subtle nuances. Perhaps you practice social graces occasionally at important events or when the mood strikes you. Maybe you have come to the conclusion that it is too late, the world has gone too far away from civility. That latter being the extreme position, most of us fall into a lackadaisical approach to social graces. We know better but are just plain lazy.
Truth is, social graces still matter. We need to be mindful of our own actions. The kindheartedness that we extend by being courteous is contagious.
There’s a confidence, charm, and positive aura that comes from knowing and doing the right thing. Positive behavior breeds positive behavior. This is my list of eight fundamental social graces we all should be practicing daily.
Hold the Door for Everyone
Have you ever been behind someone who didn’t hold the door for you? Having a door shut in your face is one of those things that can set the tone for the rest of your day. Hold the door for everyone everyday, not just when you feel like it.
Be on Time
Respect people’s time. Funny how most of us forget this until we’re the one left waiting. It’s rude to send a text message saying you’re running an hour behind. When you make a commitment to be somewhere at a specific time, follow through. It’s only acceptable to be late in the event of an emergency. Be considerate and plan your time accordingly. No one wants to wait around because some thinks their time is more valuable than yours.
Shake Hands
Shake Hands when you meet someone new, greet an old friend, and when saying goodbye. Please, if you’re sitting, stand up to shake hands. Make eye contact. Shake hands from the elbow, not the shoulder. Pump 3 times. Smile. You’ll be surprised at the amount of respect you receive.
Put the Cell Phone Away
The people right in front of you deserve your undivided attention. When you are constantly checking your phone, you send the message something else if more important than the person right in front of you. Put the phone on vibrate or even better, silent. Constantly checking social media and texting others while in the company of someone is just plain rude.
Answer the Telephone Politely – Every Time
When you answer the phone, it’s the first point of contact you have with the caller. Do not startle the caller with an abrupt “Joe here” or anything similar. Talking on the telephone is different from replying to a text message. The more text is being used as a way of communication, speaking to a live person is becoming a rare occurrence. Someone is taking the time to actually talk to you. Add some charm to the call, smile when you talk on the phone. It is possible to hear a smile over the phone.
Say Excuse Me and Thank You
Sometimes people are so busy they forget to say please, thank you, and excuse me. We were taught these very basic niceties as children for a reason. They are powerful words, use them. When you say them, you reinforce to others that you are paying attention, considerate and appreciative.
Use Good Table Manners
When you think about it, eating is fairly unattractive. You are somehow trying to get food into your mouth, chew, swallow, digest and conduct conversation. Put the phone away. Put the napkin on your lap. Eat when everyone has been served, Excuse yourself without announcing that you are using the restroom. Do not underestimate the power of good table manners. Your dining savvy is on display at work luncheons, date nights and in front of your children.
Write Thank You Notes
Receiving a gift is not the only time you should send a thank you card. Write a personal thank you note every time you are a guest at a dinner. Write a thank you note every time someone goes out of their way to help you. Buy a box of thank you notes and use them.
